But to be honest I do believe deep down that these ties needed to be cut. It was an extremely toxic relationship with someone I considered a friend and a sister. After years of support, years of fighting for them and their family, years of keeping secrets from their loved ones, only to be accused of betraying them by expressing my concern and outrage pertaining to some of their actions that involved me and my loved ones, as well as expressing concern about their constant repeating of the same mistakes over and over again in their personal life and expecting to get different results...I just got tired of trying to defend myself, and explain the actions of others. So, I cut the ropes that bound us as friends, and the delicate threads that woven together formed the tapestry of experiences that bound us as sisters.
Even with feeling like an enormous weight was lifted from me, I feel a bit of regret and hurt because I feel like I lost a part of my family. Much like I lost my grandmother, and my cousin...I feel like parts of me have died, and I will never get them back. But, everything happens for a reason. And while I don't want to believe that this happened needlessly, I have to take it for what it is...a new chapter in my life. So therefore instead of looking back in regret, I look forward with hope in my heart, and my eyes toward the rising sun on the horizon.
Blessed Be.
